My Kind-of-Sweet-and-Charming-in-an-Odd-Way Classmate "J"

Well it's not often that I have to say (publicly, anyway) that I was wrong, but I maybe do owe a little j'avais un peu tort to my classmate "J" for the slightly, shall we say, unflattering rendering in my earlier post.  And how did I arrive at that point, you ask?

On Monday we were informed in class that on Thursday we would be required to take an exam, to evaluate our level of competence in French.  Notwithstanding the fact that we were also told that the exam didn't really count for anything in terms of our studies, most people in the class naturally wanted to do well on it.  So on Thursday before class I was sitting in the cafeteria before class looking over some materials, when who should walk over and start up a conversation with me but ... my classmate "J."  In a very friendly way, she asked me what I was doing, and from there we were in a conversation.  I found out an awful lot about her in a short period of time, some of which clarified a few things for me.  For example:  I thought she was living with a French family while studying at the Alliance Française, but in fact she is working for the family as an au pair.  Which explains why she often seems tired during the class -- she spends her evenings cooking, cleaning, and watching two young children.  The fact that she was working in order to be in France, rather than simply boarding with a family, made a big impression on me, and made me view here in a totally different light.  And far from being reserved or distant or odd, she was completely completely charming.  When Suzie arrived at the cafeteria, I introduced her, and she was just as charming to Suzie.  Suzie and I both laughed that evening at the situation; we had both been more or less disarmed by her, even though there was still a little something about her that made us wonder.

When I arrived at the cafeteria the next morning, "J" was sitting in front of a computer by herself, so I decided to return the courtesy.  I asked if I could join her, and we had another extended conversation, during which I learned more about her -- about her parents and her family, about her work as an au pair, and other things which, in deference to her, I'll keep private (no, it's nothing earth-shattering, but I imagine her stumbling on this blog some day and figure it's bad enough already).  Once again, she was perfectly open and charming.  I started to realize that perhaps I had judged her a little too harshly.  There was something a little odd about her, and she continues to do some odd things in the classroom, but they now seem to me to be due to an excess of naivete, an excess of enthusiasm and openness and, perhaps, due to her particular personal history.  More importantly, the oddness is sort of endearing, because it doesn't seem to spring from any kind of anger or malice or bad motives, but rather from an unfiltered eagerness.  Maybe, too, I think, her prior inconstancy was simply due to a mix of the foregoing and shyness.

Once again, I am reminded of the great fallibility all we humans share, the error of judging another before we really know of them, of summing them up before we have really explored them, of not considering how their life and their history may have shaped them, of failing to even try to place ourselves in their position.  So I write an unflattering blog post about a young woman of 18, whom I barely know, without once putting myself in her position, or giving her any sort of the benefit of the doubt.  How would I be if I were her, so young and so far from home?  You want unflattering?  Try asking people about me at age 18.

After class today I had lunch with "J" and several other of my classmates.  And I learned even more about her.  So here is my interim, very much subject to change, view of her -- intelligent, diligent, shy, funny/goofy, good-hearted, slightly clueless, very young (but promising), charming, and, yes, still a little odd in a way I can't quite put my finger on, but which I think is probably harmless.

Oh, yes, I forgot to mention that I have regained "J" as a neighbor in the class, as she arrived this morning and sat next to me once again.  Perhaps hemispere-of-residence still matters after all.